Medellin, Columbia: Paradise in South America

This past weekend, we went to Medellin, Columbia (I know, we are living a ridiculously difficult life.) We went for a few reasons:

1) We are only in Ecuador for two more weeks and we wanted to visit another country

2) Medellin was by far the cheapest ticket we could get at the last minute

3) We are materialistic and wanted another stamp on our passport

Obviously, we had heard some fairly negative stories about Columbia and traveling there (ie kidnappings, drugs, murder). We had also heard, (and by heard, I mean Phil read in a book) that Medellin was a modern, clean city. When combined with the previously mentioned aspiration, that was enough for us.

Preparing for the weekend, we knew that this was going to be our most ambitious trip thus far, so the dudes agreed to make our best effort to blend in with the Columbian culture. How would we do this? Two syllables: mustache. All of the dudes earnestly prepared for this audacious task. (*Note: I also grew a mustache; however, the light in Columbia was extremely faint.)

We left right after classes on Thursday. We were playing hooky to extend our weekend. We had no problems getting to the airport, but everyone had told us to get there extra early because the lines were often ludicrous. This advice led to two extremely awkward hours waiting in the airport. You feel like a real idiot when not only are you the only foreigner in the airport, you are the only person at the gate. Our tickets said that we would start boarding 90 minutes before the flight because was international. Accordingly, were were there plenty early. We were there, we were alone. For an hour. Just a confused and nervous pack of gringos. It was nice to relax for a little bit, so no harm, no foul.

The flight was only 90 minutes long, and we landed with no problem. We got out and needed to go through customs. Not that big of a deal getting into Columbia. It would be a different story leaving. We had to wait in a line to exchange money, then catch a bus because the international airport in Medellin is about an hour outside the city. The drive was pretty interesting. The city is situated in a way very similar to Quito. It is in a valley surrounded by mountains on both sides. They also have very similar populations.

The bus dropped us off in the middle of the city. This was by far the most frustrating part of the trip and probably our biggest mistake in planning this trip. We didn't book our hostel beforehand. With one or two people, not a big deal, but with seven, with was a pain in the body part that I sit on (come on, this is a family blog). We took a cab to a neighborhood, got lost, asked directions, and got lost again. I knew that I was in a different kind of city when we had walked in the dark in an unknown neighborhood for 20 minutes, just a pack of gringos, bags packed with clothes and pockets packed with Columbian pesos, and NOTHING HAPPENED. We didn't see anyone or have any problems. It was actually a really nice neighborhood.

Long story short, we finally found a hostel that was awesome. It was situated in a great neighborhood filled with a cool park and awesome bars. We could tell immediately that the city was awesome, but I had no idea what a sick weekend I was in for. Here is a quick rundown of some highlights:

Ludicrous view: Greg and I go to a famous rock about 2 hours outside of the city. It is the most out of place rock I have ever seen. It is this massive. It was super tough to walk up. Here is a quick photo.

The picture does not do this justice. It was massive and very difficult to climb. It was also on the top of a hill.

Once we started climbing, Greg and I were privileged to see quite possibly the most amazing view of my life. It was gorgeous. It is surrounded by an enormous lake/river that is saturated with small islands.

No that is not a paradise background on a green screen, it is called Columbia. Ever heard of it?

Sweet art museum: Columbia's most famous living artist, Botero is famous for his colossal paintings. I think there is definitely a heavy American influence here, pun intended. Here are some examples.

This was in the plaza in front of the museum. In the background, there was live reggaeton concert raging. Pretty hilarious.

The funniest part of these works were his titles. The least creative titles I have ever heard. This one is called "Matador". Other titles included "Grapes", "Man on horse". The only exceptions were paintings involving coffee. This set something off for the artist. This painting was called "Death and Nature". It was a kettle and a table.

Amazing bars and super nice people: I need to preface this point. I am in no way, shape, or form trying to be chauvinistic. We were told that Columbia was full of beautiful people. They were right. This was the country full of the most aesthetically appealing people I have seen in one geographic area (the obvious exceptions are all of the people who read this blog, by far the most beautiful creatures this lonely soul has ever laid eyes on. I like you). The people were also incredibly kind, helpful, and outgoing. Another highlight of the trip.

The food: With one exception, I had DELICIOUS food. There was a rad Doner Kebab place just a few blocks from our hostel. I may or may not have eaten there four times within a forty-eight hour period of time. This was great for my soul, but not so great for my stomach.

Here is the glaring exception to the good food. The last morning we went to a cafe on our way to the airport. Eamon ordered 'Huevos tipios', and I thought I heard the waitress say from across the table that they were already prepared, but my hearing (or my spanish) was way off. She actually said they were prepared in the microwave. The came in these two small cups and were literally two raw eggs. Bon appetit.

Icing Greg in the middle of the airport: Aislinn spotted a smirnoff ice, and I had no choice but to spend all of my remaining pesos (with the help of Ais and KO) to exact my revenge for the two times Greg had already iced me in Quito. It was awesome.

Almost getting interrogated by the Columbian police at the airport: For obvious reasons, security is really tight when you are leaving the Columbian airport. There are literally FIVE security checkpoints that you go through. These include the standard metal detector, having all of your stuff taken from your bag and searched by hand, getting a thorough pat down (ooh la la), answering a number of questions at the customs, and then a couple of final questions from another armed officer. At this point, Francisco was over the whole "security thing". So, when this officer asked him how much money he had, he said, "Enough." This was 'enough' to prompt the man to have us all wait so we could go into the interrogation room together. Uh oh. As much as I loved Medellin, this was one place I was fairly eager to avoid. After we all arrived, he asked us all how much we had spent in Columbia. As we were answering he realized that we were small potatoes, just a bunch of cheap Americans going back to Ecuador. No interrogation room. Thank God.

Overall, the trip was amazing. I am absolutely going back. But for now, we only have 10 days left in Ecuador. The time has absolutely flown by. Now, the picture you have all been waiting for. This one goes out to the ladies.